The world is an intense place for a highly sensitive person. You want so badly to find your tribe, the group of people closest to you who really understand you, but you are like a frayed nerve in social situations. If someone says something too harsh, mocks you, or worse: doesn’t invite you, it can eat you up inside. Eventually, you convince yourself it’s easier to just stay home. Been there before?
Hence why it is so important to find like-minded people who value what you bring to the table and genuinely care about you and your well-being. It IS possible to build new, positive relationships as a highly sensitive person.
There are five key ways I recommend finding these people (while slowly building up your confidence level and growing your skillset of socializing):
- Join an online community: When I first moved to a new city, I knew no one and was desperate to make friends, so I took to the internet. Joining online communities can be a great way to connect with people based on shared interests and values. Bumble BFF is one of my go-to for apps (and where I met one of my closest friends in my current location!).
- Meetups: If a 1:1 interaction is too intimidating for you, or online chatting isn’t your vibe, try something like Books, Brunches, & Booze. It is a bookclub and social group that rotates between local eating establishments and people’s houses for fun get-togethers. The Meetup app is another great one! Every city has new/different opportunities. My husband and I joined a social bowling league upon moving to our new city that was specifically setup for newcomers. It was a great way to break the ice. You can tailor your search to your needs.
- Retreats: There are so many types of retreats available for sensitive people that are focused on growth, mindfulness, and self-care. No matter what type of retreat you are interested in, these events typically attract people who are open-minded and seeking a deeper understanding of life and themselves. It can be a positive and safe place to connect and learn more about yourself. One retreat that is specifically tailored to highly sensitive people (and fully online) is run by Peace Inside, but there are a LOT of others out there. Google “retreats for HSPs” and results abound! Another great site to search for exactly what you’re looking for is Book Retreats. Somatic retreats, for example, are a great option for HSPs.
- Volunteer: What better way to meet other HSPs than through a cause you all are passionate about? Volunteering is an awesome way to help others, make an impact on the world, find fulfillment, and meet others interested in doing the same. I used to use a website called Volunteer Match at one of my past jobs, and it was a great resource to help narrow down amazing volunteer opportunities.
- Talk to a Therapist: You’ll soon learn that I am 100% pro-therapy. I’ve been attending therapy since grad school and my only regret is that I didn’t start sooner. Finding a good therapist who you mesh with is key, but once you do, it can be life-changing for highly sensitive individuals! Therapists are there to listen and provide an outsider’s perspective. I always leave therapy with new insights or a fresh perspective. It’s different than the same conversation with a friend or my husband. They can provide valuable resources and relationship tips – not just for romantic relationships, but new friendships as well!
Overall, there are a plenty of ways to find your tribe, crew, group, or soul friends. Your people! These are just some ideas, but one thing about highly sensitive people is that we tend to be creative. You all probably have some other, amazing thoughts about how to get out there and find those lifelong friends. You are capable and unique. Don’t forget all the unique traits you bring to a friendship or relationship.
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